A Dart For Smart Or How to Pass Your Essay and Not Become a Nerd

What’s up, kiddo? Your life’s getting hard at you? You grind away at your classes, you study those textbooks, you stay up all night just to turn in that stupid essay to your Professorus Diabilis – and what do you get in the end? His smirking puss and spiteful sneers at your endeavors and hypocritical smiles of specky nerdish chicks sitting at the first desk? Come on, life’s shiny and beautiful and it’s still not the reason to broach your veins! Maybe there’s just something wrong with your attitude and maybe your elaborative methodological approach just lacks…methodology? Here’s what we may offer you!

We don’t promise your life to change drastically after you read through this guide, but at least you’ll stop thinking a loser of yourself. So stick your hatred to the world up-you-know-where, sit back and check this simple guide to Universal Wisdom. And Let the Power Be With You, O My Essay-Writing Apprentice!

Cosmic Symphony of Vehement Copulation With Knowledge. Overture.

Before doing something, it’s important to prepare, right? Preparation covers multiple aspects and may be pretty time-consuming. What I’d advise you here has been genuinely re-verified and re-confirmed by daily practice:

1. First and foremost, pay utmost attention to your overall mental and physical condition. If you’re feeling tired or sick, you won’t achieve much. Go to gym, pull some weighs, do some cycling etc. – all in all, get your blood flow to the place you generally think with. Walk your dog, meet your date (if you have one, ya lame!), read a book, listen to soothing music… Well, you know what the word “relax” means, right? You hedonist! Don’t overstrain yourself with relaxation though, and mind the time.

2. Eat well before starting. Never mind at those Roman nonsense satur venter non studet libenter! Nothing’s better for extensive study than a full belly! reddit essay writing serviceĀ 

3. Forget about parties and booze. Well, at least for the time being.

4. Prepare the ambiance. Some like when it’s quiet and calm around, others prefer studying with Death Metal pouring from their speakers at max volume. You know what’s best for you, don’t ya?

5. Increase you motivation and set your goals wisely. Decide on your productivity and deadlines. Keep saying: if I write this essay today, I’ll go buy myself a muffin (no alcohol, remember?). As Mr. Tarantino, the splendid scriptwriter, said, the point is in making little presents to yourself every day.

6. Stop dragging your feet with preparations and proceed to the next point. However, you may not bother yourself any further and just order your paper at ProfEssays.com for the special, extra-low price and bla-bla-bla, but that’s against the whole idea of writing independently, right?

Cosmic Symphony of Vehement Copulation With Knowledge. Allegro Ma Non Troppo.

So you feel relaxed and rejuvenated enough and you are eager to get down to business. Wait, there still may be a few details you’ve missed. They’ll surely appear in the process of writing. And their name is Procrastination. It’s the Ugly Beast of Many Faces, but with right concentration you will easily slain it:

1. Drink coffee (and preferably freshly brewed) while you write. Coffee’s often used for prolongation (by consumption inside) and shortening (by spilling it on the keyboard) of the working hours. So screw those talks of it being detrimental! We’re all gonna die sooner or later, so who cares? Like any drug, caffeine stimulates the blood flow, thinking and memory functions, with the only difference of it being much weaker and perfectly legalized. Certainly, you are not compelled to do it, but it’s just better with it than without. Remember how brilliant Mr. Thompson said: “I wouldn’t recommend sex, drugs or insanity for everyone, but they’ve always worked for me!”


Leave a Comment